Why did I write this book?
“Secrets” What each chapter tries to present…
The Rest of Me Part I I really wanted to share my past experiences. I wanted future generations to have an inside window of the 50’s and 60’s although it is a narrow window and knowing life changes with each generation. (Just part of my personal history lesson.) I wanted to share my beliefs, background and heritage and let future generations compare what changes have been made. I do believe in the positive and know that life will continue to be great and I will learn to adjust to times and distance. In other words: How do you keep the “music” playing? How do you make it last? How do you lose yourself or someone and never lose your ways? What is meant is simply, it was to difficult even today to write about our children and I focused on the past so that they may perhaps understand how I felt.
After many years of change, I realize change works for some but not all.
Now our ways, our hopes, have become our children’s dreams and future; as new dreams belong to those that move from the past to the present and into the new world…something that I will never be able to do.
One day another story will be written, perhaps it will look at the past but know that it was only a small part of what their world was preparing them for and secure the secrets to what their hopes, dreams, and lives will become. Therefore we pray that their world is filled with happiness and love as ours was.
Love, Dad
All of Me Part II …
As I continue to write and pursue the second part I struggle with the past, the present and the future. I continue to struggle with Danny in my younger years, a Dennis growing up and now metaphorically as I speak with Danny and Dennis. I realize this is confusing and perhaps disturbing but I was happy with both lives. (I am very happy to have grandchildren and perhaps one day great grandchildren! But struggle with the thought of only seeing our own children part time or our grandchildren on a part time bases. As I continue to write the second part, it just does not seem fair! I no longer seem to be focused in life. I have lost my reason for being due to the fact that I feel no longer needed. Although this may not be exactly true, I think it becomes my reality due to age or perhaps distance. Many people before me have had this same feeling as we are caught up in twilight of this moment. A feeling of emptiness is the best way to describe it. I continue to have my days of sunshine, clear waters and special thoughts, but cloudy days continue to hover above me, enough to make me think that I need to change my ways, thoughts or desires. My writings are a way for me to satisfy the needs of how I feel and provide a way to sooth my inner self. It was difficult to imagine a lifetime of growing up thinking things will stay the same. Family members will continue to be close, and everyone will stay in the same area. A false impression that inspired me to do everything in life with a plan; A plan that incorporated everyone in the same area enjoying the same lifestyle. A misconception on my part but I realize many others will deal with this in life and is the norm for many. How does someone have wonderful children and all of them decide to move away? Makes me wonder what I did wrong in life.
As you look and read the captions of the second part, All of Me, you will find there are no story plots, or sense of direction, only glimpses of the past and time which travels in the mind from one corner to another in such a path that is hard even for me to follow. It has been over eight years now with all of our family moving apart and there are days it becomes tolerable but I still look “forward” to the past knowing that the past is no longer the future. There will be a day in time where this will be the new beginning and I feel one day I will adjust to this and make it work. Time stands still for no one yet pasts never fade, in this light may the two blend one day to become a new sea of life for all. As the ocean waves continue to pound the shores, there will always be change. DS 11-20-13
As time moves on I realized I’ve been the target of growing up! Which growing up happens to all of us just at different times. It’s been going on for quite some time now, without even knowing it. I’ve found that growing up can mean a lot of things. For me, it doesn’t mean I should become somebody completely new and stop loving the things I used to love. It means I’ve just added more things to my list to love. Such as taking trips to see our children and grandchildren and perhaps one day even a larger family. Yes this is the new life as all of us will have in time and for that I have become thankful to have enjoyed each and every moment of all the experiences life has given from loving Parents, to marriage to having the best children and grandchildren. Life is grand yet different and we must all remember that each of us will someday grow up as well. Many of the lessons I tried to communicate in this book were reflected in the way I was raised and tried to encourage these values in our own children. It is gratifying to realize our children have adopted their own set of values and have carried them out to teach their own children a set of values that will surpass our greatest expectations. It is so reassuring to hear our children and grandchildren have plans for the future and realize that the future belongs to the next generation as well. A lesson that I knew but took me many years to except due to the new distances of our families. Yet I knew in my mind that this was the outcome of raising children that had a foothold on life and knew what their destinations would become, the oceans they would cross and the new reefs they would discover.
To those that may read my story; may you know and understand although life was not always as I would have wanted; I would not change it for the world as when you look at what life has brought to the table you know you have done Great just as those before you! I also realize that each of us has a dream and it is up to each of us to make that dream come true. Happy Dreams; make them come true! I am learning that although we may be on different ships, we journey on the same ocean.
DS 11-20-13
All of You Part III
This was written as a web based story although not as complete but to make the story accessible for those who wanted to read but did not have a copy. I want to thank again Steve Mistretta for his support in allowing us to use his server.
Made for You Part IV This section will contain movies of as much of the past as I can gather, it will not be limited to any time range and will include our two children for which is the reason I wrote this book.
Second Generation Italian/American
Writing in the past has been easier for me. Writing about the present and the ones I love now is difficult although part of my goal is to complete that section in time.
There are so many thoughts I wanted to write about and so many ways I wanted to express them. Many thoughts and passages were written in riddles or in poetry giving the reading a chance to explore, seek and find, but before I finish just let me write about the traditions I grew up with and tried to pass on:
Our grandparents (mostly the ones I grew up with) were immigrants. They came over due to conditions being poor and no way out and had to leave. Young, full of spirit and broke, they had a dream and wanted to make it happen along with a better life for future generations.
Italians in the early 1900’s were looked down upon due to Mussolini who was in control. They settled in certain areas and did not venture far. For them it was a safe refuge and they could support each other. Although it was only a minority the mafia had done much to discredit many Italians who were nothing like that. It wasn’t until the war that Italians were seen giving their lives and some began making it big in business or the entertainment world that is began changing. Even Governor Como who many thought would run for President knew times were not ready for an Italian in the White House.
So life continued and after the WWII our economy began to become a world power, the people began to enjoy the neighborhoods, along with a better way of life that they had left. Many returned and many visited the old country including our grandparents to try and stay in touch with those they loved and left. Traditions were deep rooted and pride was shown in the families. In the outside world many still believed of a bias towards Italians for some of the reasons mentioned above but in time especially in the 60’s with people like Perry Como, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, and Tony Bennett, many wished they could be Italian. I remember family members that were haunted by the FBI and some for good reason as they were among targets of the FBI. Even President Kennedy was not allowed to associate with Frank Sinatra due to the feeling of mafia ties back then.
In the late 60’s a popular movie was shown which was supposed to be titled the Mafia but later changed to the Godfather and the details made many first generation families longing to visit the old country as some said that is the way it was! Meaning the dishware, the food, the gatherings, the familia but not the rest was so authentic.
As time went on in the 70’s and beyond, families were no longer united, there was a move to go to the suburbs, to move away from Italian neighborhoods and venture out. As this happened many of the gatherings were lost along with traditions and family ties. The world was becoming a larger place and people were on the move. There were even studies done where heart attacks were more common as this happened.
I realize the world cannot stand still, if it did we would not be here, but some of the traditions are so hard core within me it has been difficult to see this happen but know that you must go on as our ancestors did to make a life that can be better for those that need it.
This time period is lost and as I talk to my friends of the same era the ones I grew up with, they too experience some of the same feelings as we had close neighborhoods, lifelong friendship and ties that cannot be broken. Not being a writer or even knowing the skills to write with, I wrote this book with love and dedication again with the hopes that it may present to the reader a time of glory, love and style. Of course I do not say this will not happen again but know it will be a different world for those who knew and felt this experience. So I say to all of you, love the world you are in, if not make it better for yourself and others……….