In life when you are younger, you see the world differently! You do not have the experiences; although, (in your teen years) you feel as though you are able to make decisions worthy of the time and even begin thinking that you can make life-long decisions.
To a degree, this thinking does have some truth and validity to it. You have reached an age when decisions based on day-to-day activities are probably sound for that age and even some long-term goals can be set. You make these decisions on how you feel, what you want, your experiences, your knowledge of the world, the people around you, and the situations you live with. Your feelings play a large role in this decision-making as well. It can be through love, sadness, or any other emotion that you may have at the time including happiness, sadness, or wishful thinking.As your decisions are made, you realize the good ones and are aware of some you wish you had not made. At an early age, many of these unless a very bad decision was made, usually do not affect you for very long. Neither do they involve others, especially those around you and those that you care about or love. You make many of your decisions based on what you have seen your parents, your siblings, family members, and those around you do. It is a process when the brain functions in a manner that seems to be consistent to the world around you, your experiences, and those that care for you.
As your teen years approach, some of your thinking may become “clouded” due to the amount of hormones you are producing. Those decisions may be the choices you make as far as your education, your friends, and the relationships you have encountered. If you feel the emotion of love at that point in life, it becomes a strong emotion and one that can move the thought process should you let it.
As a teenager this occurs in life you will make good decisions and some that are not good, but you can live with them and finally correct them. This is a learning process and part of growing up.
At a young age, many of the decisions you make are probably deciced due to lack of experience, youth, and many will probably go unnoticed for many years. This is simply due to the fact that again youth and reason will determine how you act and react in life. As time goes by, you will begin noticing what you have done in the past. In most cases you will accept them, learn from them, and hope that you will make even better decisions when faced with a new or similar problem, which may be for the best or something that can cause change in your life. Change takes on many avenues throughout the years. It could it be a different taste in food, a change of heart, what colors or shows you enjoy, or even the people you hang around with.
You will find that many times, those around you or even the things around you, which you thought you could not live without, have served their purpose, and you will find things that will make you just as happy. You then make decisions to move forward, but to keep those you love in your heart forever! As you never know what life can bring.
As life continues, there may be times you cannot make a decision. It could be you are not ready, the decision just does not seem important to you, it may be that you feel you are forced to make a decision that you are not ready for, or that it is a decision based on someone else and you may feel responsible for it. This is one that can become very complicated and difficult to handle; so one of the best solutions is to step back, and take another look at it, try to get a different perceptive on it. Many times, this is when you would initiate the plea for help from someone you trust such as a family member, friend, spouse, church, or any other source you may have confidence in. Decisions don’t always come right away and when you are not ready to make a decision you can live with; it may be best to try to delay until you have come to a conclusion that feels right for you. Many times, you will not have the luxury of having time on your side, so at that point you must learn to do the best you can and move forward. This does not mean you have done wrong in your life, but have made a decision in which you are not comfortable with, but can live with it. Should it cause more pain than that, perhaps you need to re-visit the problem and see if there is something else you can do in order to make it worthy to you and something that will cause you less pain.
We are all intertwined in life, with those around us (friends, husbands, wives, family, co-workers and such). Many times, we realize how much they mean to us now, later, or even in the future.
As I have commented, we are a product of our environment and we have the ability to make choices. God made us in his image and gave us reasoning with the ability to make decisions right or wrong. As I have learned in Bible study (as well as in church), or by talking to those that are Christians; there seems to be a widespread idea that we as humans will make mistakes in life. The most wonderful lesson that God has taught us is having Jesus die on the cross for our “sins” (perhaps those made by mistakes) can be forgiven as we move on. We have to learn to deal with the decisions we have made in life (that we must live with) throughout our years of being here on earth.
I have made pronounced decisions in life, as well as poor ones, and those I am not proud of. I have prayed and asked for forgiveness and feel a sense of retreat. Having the ability to reason and make decisions is all part of the process. Life (although not perfect) is an adventure that we endure for many years if we are lucky.
Here is where I have become very confused in my later life and I’m not sure if it was due to goals, decisions, or the combination of both from all the experiences in my life. Much of my “core” comes from family, church, and even the culture I was raised in. It (sometimes) becomes very confusing, when those “mores” do not intertwine with present day philosophies.
Going to college, dating, making friends, getting married (with Carol), having children (Gina and Dennis), purchasing cars, boats, and real estate have all been decisions that I have made; usually, not affecting others in any harmful way and most of the time good ones. Not everything I did, or purchased, was always the best idea, but one that I could live with and never looked back at with regret.
Getting married (to someone who would be there for you), raising a family, and planning for the family was always my proudest moment in life. Although, I cherished my family as a youngster, I will never replace all the times I spent with Carol, our children, and grandchildren! They give me hope, love, and happiness every single day in my life! They gave back love without ever realizing it! Just having them around (even though you worked hard for them, sacrificed for them, cleaned up after them, or even when you felt their pain), it was truly a pleasure that nothing in this world could change or make better. As parents, you now realize all the things in life that your parents tried to tell you, your loved ones, or friends at the time. It is one of those instances when you realize that life gives insight (as you mature), whether it is by age or experiences.
What I have experienced growing up is something that did not occur to me for many years. Although, decision-making was usually a normal expression of my thoughts, life experiences, desires, needs, and times; I failed to realize how much we mature and how we become intertwined with those around us. Family, husbands and wives, friends, workers, places, and acquaintances may cause us to make decisions that are out of our realm of experience and those decisions can be life changing. Change may or may not be something we may want to experience! Although, these instances will face us all of our lives, there may be times in every person’s life that makes us wonder how we made a decision. As I have said, most decisions are made and forgotten about! They take their place and are for the most part welcomed.
As a young person I made many goals that I wanted to live with my entire life. One as a (youngster) was the decision to not smoke. My reason was that I would save that money for something that would bring more pleasure to me like having a boat. Also, I would attend college even though my public education was not the best due to my lack of effort. My decisions were made from the talks my parents gave about how education was important and were something no one could take from me. They were influential in my life and I was determined to have a college degree. Another decision, I made (early on) was the fact that I enjoyed where I lived and (perhaps) one day I would move to Clearwater or in that general area. This was reinforced (in my college) years, while working at a department store when they asked me to stay on. I was impressed that I was asked, but realized a job of this nature would (more than likely) transfer me to another state. I could not make that decision!
Getting married to Carol Billings was a great decision, having children was an even Better decision! Raising them never changed the way I felt about my decisions and I still realized those decisions were best for my life. Today, I now realize our son and daughter must make their own decisions and with the same Grace of God, Hopes, Love, and Admiration will both make decisions in much the same way, but with different inspirations and dreams. I realize they are a wonderful family (of another generation) with their own challenges and life changing moments. I am sure our grandparents (coming from a faraway land) had their doubts, but look how well they did and what they brought into this world. So here we go with another story and another generation in another time!
Love in all the ways that makes Love possible, with God’s grace everything is possible. Finally, I remind you to look at your future decisions before making them and examine what your decisions will mean to you and others……
Work at Life, Love, Eat, and Dance, do all you can, take the fall, get back up, and continue to do all you can to continue…… Finally, we must all feel Love, we must feel we’re Wanted, and we must all feel the Need for each other; for without Love, Want, and Need, the human heart will suffer. We are placed on this planet for a purpose and without purpose we will soon deteriorate; as we are fighting what has been engrained within us. Give those around you purpose, give of yourself, and let others know how much you appreciate them; for our souls must be nourished as our bodies and minds. We are “seeds” to grow and spread; therefore, we continue to encourage future generations to be sown, harvested, and collected. I realize I have spoken of many positive thoughts and prayers, but I realize how difficult it is. So in Life, do your Best, as Love conquers all and give time for everything to work out; as positive thoughts will bring positive outcomes! As in Life, Change is Inevitable!
Before I stop, here is my theory to contemplate:
How we make and don’t make decisions or (sense). We have five basic senses, and they are listed below. Some of us are born with sharper senses and it is my belief that the ways we use these help us in everyday life. Given it is only my theory, as no research or scientific facts are behind this; just my way of adding perception as a “sense” to my book.
First of all what is perception?
Perception is our sensory experience of the world around us and involves both the recognition of environmental stimuli and actions in response to these stimuli. Through the perceptual process, we gain information about properties and elements of the environment that are critical to our survival. Perception not only creates our experience of the world around us; it allows us to act within our environment. Why is one color preferred over another or one smell nicer than another…
Perception and making our decisions are based on our senses; so let’s look at them and as in Pinocchio let’s tell a story!
Our senses:
Sight – will you see the sight or will you perceive the situation?
A matter of how you see.
Hearing – do we only hear or understand what we hear?
Taste – using your taste buds situated chiefly in your tongue, you can detect four basic tastes. When we are excited about food and life, does taste change?
Smell – we have a sense of smell, but in life can we not smell when things are right or wrong with no receptors to interact within the vapors of our brains? So the phase, “something stinks”!
Touch – the sense of touch is throughout the body. We have nerve endings to provide us with information. By touching can we feel?
Synesthesia – some people experience a stimulation that evokes another sensation. Does this shape the way we think or how we make decisions?
In summary: even our most basic physiological senses are influenced by our social goals, desires, and motivations. This is perhaps surprising, but humans are (after all), intricate social beings. Due to this, we are bound to make good and bad decisions. With experience, love, and understanding, we can make decisions that will be more beneficial to us and those around us.
This is how Danny would have put it!
Why touch when you can feel…
Why see when you can imagine…
Why taste when you can experience…
Why hear when you can understand…
Why smell when you can rejoice…
Go with your gut…
Stay true to your heart…
For now, I leave you with what was written in the “Prelude” and I hope you go back to reread…
As the currents changed, so did the world. New life from across the ocean knew their reef was in jeopardy and decided to explore a new world that could offer new adventures, opportunities, and a chance to nurture a family with all that this new exciting reef could provide. So with just the scales on their skin they would leave the currents where they were born, (a reef they treasured), but knowing in their hearts this new wondrous body of opportunity would not only provide them what they needed, but could sustain a better life for those yet to come. As the currents and tides changed, so did the inhabitants. They would find their middle grounds, so the next generation could prosper and live in peace and joy just as they had.
Love!
Dennis L. Stafford